I started writing this blog post a few days ago to explore some anxieties I was experiencing, but they all seem so mute in light of this past week's events - two soldiers murdered, the Parliament breached, the suspect shot dead by the Sergeant-in-Arms, and buildings in lockdown. It was like an episode of 24, only it wasn't Keifer Sutherland in the camera frame with special effects and stunts, there was no script or movie soundtrack, and there were no re-takes. In a country and capital that doesn't often see this kind of chaos, it brings about a different perspective and a new sense of vulnerability.  Hearing of former colleagues who witnessed the shooting to seeing images of a friend escorted out of a building amidst a swarm of armed police or seeing the evidence of bullet holes in the walls where I have walked through Parliament before...it all seems surreal.

I waited for the all the political leaders to address Canadians...waiting for our fearless leader to send out a message of reassurance, but the one delivered by Justin Trudeau spoke to me the most.

"...In the days that follow, there will be questions, anger and perhaps confusion. This is natural, but we cannot let it get the better of us. Losing ourselves to fear and speculation is the intention of those who commit these heinous acts.

They mean to shake us. We will remain resolved.

They want us to forget ourselves. Instead, we should remember.

We should remember who we are. We are a proud democracy, a welcoming and peaceful nation, and a country of open arms and open hearts. We are a nation of fairness, justice and the rule of law.

We will not be intimidated into changing that.

If anything, these are the values and principles to which we must hold on even tighter. Our dedication to democracy and the institutions we have built is the foundation of our society. And a continued belief in both will guide us correctly into the future. Staying true to our values in a time of crisis will make us an example to the world.

Criminals cannot and will not dictate to us how we act as a nation, how we govern ourselves or how we treat each other. They cannot and will not dictate our values. And they do not get to decide how we use our shared public spaces.

Today we heard about a loss of innocence in Canada. This is inaccurate. Canada is not innocent to the threats we face, and we know that we are not immune. What is true is that we have not let those threats shape us, and we have never bowed to those who mean to undermine our values and way of life. We have remained Canadians. And this should be how we will carry on."

We will remain resolved: I remember attending a fundraising event for the Japanese tsunami victims where the then Japanese Ambassador to Canada Kaoru Ishikawa calmly stated, "Each of us must do what we must do."  We have been shaken and I still feel twisted inside each time I see images in the media of that day and the victims. But my hope for my national capital is that celebrations in shared public spaces continue and as Trudeau says, that we don't lose ourselves to fear and overreaction.

We should remember who we are:  This is a call to all of us to be true to ourselves as well as our nation - to uphold our values and commitment to democracy, respect and compassion for each other and ourselves, and to remain resilient as we walk through the challenges and chaos despite our feelings of vulnerability. While Trudeau says we should hold on even tighter, it shouldn't mean that we hold so tight that we become inflexible otherwise this could become our Achilles' heel.