the nurse returned my call. i have an appointment with the doctor later this month and as a result, she doesn't think it would be appropriate to pursue any treatments this month. wait and see what the doctor prescribes, she says. my heart tightens and i close my eyes to stem the tears. waiting...again. stupid blunted surges. fuck! i'm angry and frustrated. the...

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i look at myself in the mirror. my eyes feel heavy...not with age, but with unshed tears. i study the pores, the wrinkles, the lines, the sun damage blotches that are painted across my cheeks - none of those bother me. no, it's my puffy eyes. they are desperately trying to shield the world and myself from seeing too deeply. there's a silent...

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